One of the early questions couples face during planning is whether or not to invite children to their wedding. There is no right or wrong answer here. It is all about your comfort, your vision, and the experience you want to create for your guests. As a planner who has worked hundreds of weddings, I can confidently say that both choices can be handled gracefully with clear communication and thoughtful preparation.
Below is a guide that covers everything from having a kid-free celebration to welcoming little ones with ease.
If you prefer a Kid Free Wedding
A child-free wedding is a completely acceptable choice and more common than ever. The key is to communicate kindly and clearly from the start.
Verbiage for Invitations and Your Wedding Website
Here are wording options that feel warm and respectful:
- “We kindly request an adults only celebration.”
- “Our ceremony and reception will be an adults only event.”
- “We love your little ones, but this will be a grown ups only evening.”
You can place this note on your details card, your RSVP page, or the FAQ section of your wedding website.
Additional Tips
- Address envelopes specifically. Only the invited names should appear so there is no confusion.
- Stay consistent across platforms. If the event is adults only, avoid exceptions unless there is a very specific reason such as a nursing infant or flower girl/ring bearer
- Give parents time. Most guests appreciate advance notice so they can arrange childcare.
Bring On The Chaos, Invite The Kiddos
In my experience across hundreds of weddings, children are rarely a significant distraction. Most of the day is energetic and social which means kids blend right into the liveliness of the reception.
Ceremony Time
Ceremonies are the only part of the day where little ones can shift the atmosphere. A quiet room, a fussy baby, or a restless toddler can be noticeable simply because ceremonies are intimate and still.
You can help set expectations with parents by gently encouraging:
- Sitting on the aisle so they can exit easily if needed
- Stepping out if a child becomes upset
Most parents are very aware of their child’s behavior and will handle this respectfully.
Reception Time
Receptions are louder and more dynamic. By this point in the evening most guests are mingling and moving around the space. Kids tend to blend right into the environment and often become dance floor favorites.
1. Consider an On Site Nanny
Hiring a nanny or childcare staff is one of the best ways to support both the parents and the kids. They can supervise activities, help during dinner service, walk children to quiet spaces, and step in during speeches or other important moments. Search local event nanny services in your area.
2. Create an Activities Table
This is one of my favorite ways to keep kids engaged during the reception. Depending on their age you can have a kids table or place a coloring book at their table. If they are on the younger side, they prefer to be with their parents. Ideas include:
- Coloring books and crayons
- Easy games
- Sticker books
- Fidget toys
- Play-doh for older kids
- Whiteboard coloring sheets
- Simple storybooks
The dollar store is a great spot to buy these items.
3. Provide a Quiet Space
Some children need a moment to reset during the festivities. A designated quiet room or corner can be incredibly helpful. Add:
- Pillows and soft blankets
- Low lighting
- A few quiet toys or books
- Space for feeding or soothing
This creates a safe retreat for little ones who feel tired or overstimulated.
If you have any breastfeeding moms, you should check with the venue to see where they can pump.
4. Think Through the Processional
If you are including a flower girl or ring bearer, prepare for spontaneity. They may freeze, run, or change their mind at the last second. All of these moments are completely normal and often very sweet.
To help set them up for success:
- Practice during rehearsal
- Have a parent or family member stationed on the aisle to help encourage
- For very young children, consider having an adult walk with them
Catering and Bar Considerations
Children impact your food and beverage counts. Be clear with your food and beverage team the age breakdown. Typically, you won’t be charged for kids under 2, 3-12 is kid meal pricing, and 12-21 saves you in bar cost.
Ask your venue if they provide high chairs.
Always Request Kid Meals
Never assume that a child needs an adult entrée. Ask your caterer about kid menus and kid pricing. This often includes pasta, chicken fingers, fruit cups, or basic sides at a lower rate.
Serve Kids First
Kids are usually hungry earlier in the evening. Ask your caterer to serve them first so parents can enjoy their own meal once the kids are settled.
Update Your Bar Team
Make sure your bar knows the breakdown of kids so you are not charged adult pricing for guests who will not be drinking alcohol. Most bar packages include pricing structures for minors that are significantly lower.
