For some couples, having a wedding party feels like a non negotiable tradition. For others, it’s not part of the vision at all. In recent years, we’ve seen this tradition shift from being the automatic default to something couples weigh more carefully.
The truth? The decision to have a wedding party shapes your day, from your timeline, to the flow of events, to the emotional energy surrounding you. The more people you add, the more moving parts you’ll juggle (said lovingly, of course). For every positive, there’s often a corresponding challenge. The question really becomes: do you want this joyful, loving chaos?
Who’s Typically in the Wedding Party
- Maid of Honor / Matron of Honor
Usually a sister or best friend. This person often helps with planning tasks (like the shower or bachelorette) and is your right-hand throughout the day and may give a toast - Best Man / Best Person
Traditionally a brother or closest friend. They may help plan the bachelor party, keep the rings safe, and give a toast at the reception. - Bridesmaids & Groomsmen
Close friends, cousins, siblings, or chosen family. They stand with you during the ceremony and pitch in with pre-wedding events, getting ready, and reception duties. - Flower Girl / Ring Bearer
Young children who add a sweet, symbolic moment to the processional.
Prologue Tip: Don’t be afraid to break tradition. Want your dog as your “best man”? Done. Want everyone seated so it’s just the two of you up front? Perfect. This is your ceremony—your wedding party’s role should reflect what feels authentic to you.
How Big Should It Be?
There’s no “right” number. It could be just one sibling each, or it could be ten friends apiece. The key is to think about:
- The size of your ceremony space.
- The vibe you want (intimate vs. big crew energy).
- The costs (bouquets, boutonnieres, HMUA services, outfits).
Planner Note: The larger the party = more herding and time delays
No Party at All
Some couples opt to keep it simple and stand alone, inviting friends to participate in other ways (like readings, ushering, or getting ready together).
Prologue Tip: Your wedding party should feel like your inner circle, not a roster of obligations. Choose people who bring calm, joy, and support…not stress.
Attire
When it comes to planning your wedding party’s attire, the options can feel endless! Do you match everyone perfectly? Do you let them choose their own look? Do you pay, or do they? Attire is one of those areas where tradition is shifting quickly, and what used to be a rigid formula is now much more flexible.
Do you have to buy their outfit? I find that couples will put this expense on the wedding party.
Where should my groomsmen get their suits? Renting will be the easiest option in most cases. The big box companies are convenient because they can get all their measurements at their home store and pick up in the city of the wedding. This prevents them from needing to travel with a suit. Men’s warehouse and Black Tux are the most common brands.
Where should bridesmaids get their dress? You’ll want to decide if you are giving your girls a color to match or if you want them in all the same silhouette. The most common stores are Birdy Grey and Azazie.
Caution: I will say 10% of my weddings each year will have a wedding party member forget, not purchase, or order the incorrect item (always the boys). My advice is to ask for picture proof and send out a reminder text for packing. They always forget the correct shoe, tie, pocket square.
Getting Ready
The getting ready time is a large portion of the day where you are going to spend this quality time with your wedding party. Even if you opt out of having a proper wedding party, you can still invite your closest friends to get ready with.
Morning Timeline and Logistics:
-Have your wedding party arrive 30 minutes before hair and make up start.
-Put your punctual friend in the chair first.
-Consider the logistics of how to get everyone to and from the getting ready space.
– Make sure your have snacks and water available.
Do you have to pay for their hair and make up? There is no rule book but what I see most often is offering to pay for one service and if they want both then they’d pay for the other. Many hair and make up artist have minimums that you will have to meet anyway even if you were just wanting to pay for your own.
Photos
Wedding party photos usually happen either before the ceremony (if you’re doing a first look) or during cocktail hour(if you’re waiting to see each other).
- Before the Ceremony: Keeps everyone looking fresh and allows you to join cocktail hour later.
- After the Ceremony: Gives you that traditional “just married” glow, but keep in mind your party may be itching for a drink and a snack.
One of the biggest stressors? Wrangling people. Let your wedding party know in advance:
- When and where photos will be.
- If they need to bring bouquets, jackets, or other props.
- That being on time is non-negotiable.
A simple group text the week of the wedding works wonders for keeping everyone on the same page.
Happy wedding party = better photos. A few things to help:
- Make sure bouquets have water before photos.
- Have water bottles and a snack on hand
- If it’s hot, give people shade breaks. Buy some of those battery hand held fans! If it’s cold, rotate coats on and off between shots.
Prologue Tip: Appoint a “wrangler”, a friend to help gather people and keep the flow moving. It frees your photographer to focus on creativity while someone else handles the logistics.
The Ceremony
Your wedding party can be a statement for your ceremony. It adds a level of theater. From the way they walk down the aisle to how they stand beside you, their presence shapes the look, feel, and flow of this moment.
Here’s what to consider as you plan your ceremony with your wedding party in mind.
Processional
The ceremony officially begins with the processional, and your wedding party sets the tone.
Things to think about:
- Order of Entrance: Traditionally, bridesmaids and groomsmen walk in pairs, but you can also have them walk solo, in trios, or even enter from the side.
- Music: Decide if the wedding party has a separate song from you and your partner, or if the music flows seamlessly throughout.
Alter
Once everyone proceeds down the aisle, you will need to make the decision if you want them up at the alter or to take their seat. Traditionally they stand at the alter, but this is slowly becoming less and less guaranteed.
Participation in the ceremony
Your wedding party can have active or symbolic roles, depending on your vision. A few ideas:
- Holding vow books, bouquets, or rings.
- Fluffing out your dress.
- Giving a reading or prayer.
- Standing as legal witnesses when signing the marriage license.
- Joining in a ritual, like a unity candle, handfasting, or cultural tradition.
Wedding Party Task
Your wedding party isn’t just there to look good in photos. Give them clear responsibilities so you can stay in the moment:
- Last minute errands- The boys don’t need as much time to get ready so if there is any last minute pick ups or errands make them do it.
- Bustle your dress- record a video at your fitting for reference.
- Be the extra set of hands when you need things handled quickly.
- Emotional support- having a wedding party that keeps the energy fun throughout the day is worth it’s weight in gold.
- Have a phone person: have a friend in charge of your phone prior to the ceremony. Have them field your calls for any planning related questions so you can be in the moment.
- Pee buddy- sometimes those wedding dresses can be cumbersome and you will need help holding the dress while you pee.
- B role- have people take candid photos and videos
Prologue Tip: Share your timeline with your wedding party so they are in the know and prevent you from answering the same question over and over. Also share your planner’s phone number with them. I get easy little fires to put out from your wedding party. I’d rather them to text me and not stress you out.
